Tuesday, August 6, 2019

PRAYER FROM THE SHADOW


O G-D,
how is it that you fill the void
but I still feel empty?
How can it be that you are with me
but I feel so alone?
How will it be that you are my eternity
but I have trouble living in the moment?
I claim you in the depths of my soul
as the Light that Illumines even the darkest night.
Yet, I know the shadow
more than I know your splendor.
I see the darkness
and sense it so well.
I live with a hope of the morning,
that joy will come,
Still, the night seems forever.
I find myself in the words of the prophets
and psalmists:
I call upon you; you do not answer ...
I seek your face; it is hidden ...
I pine for your peace; there is only chaos.
Have you turned away?
Have you never really been there?
Were the good old days but an illusion?
O Blessed One--Holy, Holy Almighty,
Holy Immortal One--redeem my sorrow
to times that have happiness.
Transform my depression
to a place where sorrow is within limits.
Heal my anxiety
to a way of living that knows the boundaries
of dread.
There is so much brokenness,
bring your wholeness
to mock the frivolity of our pseudo-passions.
Give me a heart that is love,
a mind that is truth,
a spirit that is life.
May all else be but dust,
dust like the withering of a seed.
And, may the death of the seed
be the birth of what you will for me.
In you, O G-D, I trust--even in the trust
that more often looks like doubt and
apathy--I trust that somehow, someway
there may be shalom.
Blessed are you and blessed is your Kin-Dom,
now and forevermore.